Barf-Beamers Coming Soon To Your Local Police Agency

August 7, 2007

LED IncapacitatorScientists have developed a super-bright flashlight that actually makes you throw up. Yes, it makes you barf, vomit, spit up, hurl, puke, ralph, toss your beans, (fill in your favorite vomit expression here).

It’s called a LED Incapacitator, and the U.S. Department of Homeland Security has announced the awarding of a contract to develop these flashlight weapons. It works by simultaneously blinding someone and disorienting him/her enough to make him/her sick. It uses continuously changing light and color pulses to effectively and safely disorient a person (and make him/her sick).
LED Incapacitator schemaWith these LED Incapacitator flashlights, law enforcement officers (and I hope only those folks!) would be able to take down offenders — especially drug runners and illegal aliens — without hurting them and sparing the lives (although probably not the stomach contents) of nearby bystanders or airline passengers.

DHS hopes to have these flashlight weapons in the hands of policemen, border agents, and National Guardsmen by 2010. The thought of anybody carrying barf-beamers makes me feel, well, a bit sick.

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